a commonplace book by yours truly
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Professorial Coping Strategy #1: Grading Bingo
Shakespeare once owned a dachshund named Rufus. The dog was written out of Macbeth in favor of his daughter’s new puppy, Spot.
Shakespeare was a founding member of The Groundlings.
Shakespeare hated to be called “Billy Shakes” by his school chums. He preferred “Bill the Butcher” and had the sword-fighting chops to back it up.
Shakespeare once accidentally bloodied the nose of his Latin teacher when the teacher stepped in to break up a fight.
Shakespeare never slept in his second-best bed and it still had that little tag that’s against the law to remove, so Anne actually got a good deal.
Shakespeare didn’t really want to write or act; he wanted to direct.
Shakespeare sounded less like a majestic Ian McKellen and more like a drunken Ralph Fiennes.
Shakespeare once gargled a pint of bad French wine on a twopence bet.
Shakespeare waxed his mustache and beard with badger musk to create a fuller effect.
Shakespeare once went without pants for an entire fortnight. No one noticed.
Shakespeare once stabbed a man in Kensington just to watch him die.
Shakespeare liked ham and headcheese, but refused to eat bacon.
Shakespeare invented cricket and football, both on the same day.
Shakespeare was a dirty fighter, constantly taking jabs below the belt.
Shakespeare preferred blondes.
Shakespeare served two months in the Tower of London for “causingeth a rukuƒ”.
Shakespeare was not a gentleman.
Shakespeare owned a beautiful rug that really pulled the room together.
Shakespeare never referred to his man parts as “Little Willy.”
Shakespeare had two stressed feet.
Shakespeare invented the meatball sandwich.
Shakespeare drank an entire case of Mountain Dew in one sitting while writing “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
Shakespeare never went on stage drunk.
Shakespeare owned a pair of fighting cocks named “Bert” and “Notbert” and once made it to the qualifying round of the London Death Cock Invitational.
Shakespeare had a thing for licorice schnapps.
Shakespeare liked to write in the nude.
Shakespeare pronounced “Wm.” as “Weem.”
Shakespeare made his own sausage.
Shakespeare was buried face down so he cold laugh at his critics.